Today's experience left me laughing and sighing at the same time. Working in the SEEPZ SEZ has its advantages - its so near to home. It also has its disadvantages - they have strict rules - that me was unaware of. I had just finished with my Office chores and was returning home when I was stopped by the SEEPZ Security at Gate #3. He wanted to search my bag.

'Coz I thought I had nothing to hide, I gave him the entire bag. He unzipped it, and pushed his hand inside, probably felt something hard, and enquired what it was. Normally, I would have kept my huge trap shut, and told him what it probably was not - my hardbound Diary, but I was in a lighter moods, interested in messing around - so I remarked 'Camera'. I regret having said that.

The man looked amused. He enquired, 'Camera ?!' and then asked me if I could show it to him. Not realizing what a mess I was gonna get myself into, I casually, took the camera out. This was my old Olympus, with no gadgetry to play around. The chap would probably have one look at it, and put it back, me thought.

Instead, he took the camera, and then asked for my SEEPZ Id. I showed it to him. I figured the Q&A was over and he'd probably let me go. Instead he asked me to surrender my SEEPZ pass. I had committed a Security violation, breach of SEEPZ rules, the repercussions would be enormous, I was told. The fine was a modest Rs. 10000/-. Plus, I'd be answerable to the SEEPZ Security Officer for bringing a banned electronic good inside the premises. Ouch. I was in trouble.

Its interesting that this man was not really here to fine me. This was a fine opportunity to make money. I was asked to step inside the Security cabin. There, he put forth his offer - with one hand on the phone (with a threat that he'd call SEEPZ Security any moment), he said I could get out of this mess if I parted with Rs.5000/- only. That was still too much.

The camera wasn't worth that much, although the snaps in that 36roll film are, probably, priceless. Anyhow, with a little more cribbing, he brought down his demand to Rs.2000/-, which was further cut in half. The man was getting desperate. He finally stopped at no less than Rs. 800/- and I had 5minutes to arrange the cash and take my camera back.

I usually carry enough money to get me home by bus, and maybe buy myself a fizzy drink, if am thirsty. So this cash needed to be arranged. I was really in no mood to part with the money and thought of ways to inform the Vigilance Department so that this chappy could be caught red-handed. But it wouldn't work. I was the one at fault, and I guess it made more sense to pay up and shut-up. So, I tried to buy time in order to arrange the cash.

When I returned, I went straight into his cabin with the cash in my hand. The chap was nervous as hell. He asked me to state how much money it was. I told him it was all the money I had collected from friends - about Rs. 450/-. He uttered some sort of a cry and took the cash from my hand and stuffed it in his pocket. In a swift move, he handed me the camera and told me to get the hell out of there - and not mention this to anybody. Yuck Man. I was hating this.

Anyhow, now that I was done with the crappy part, I asked the man if I could make a phone call.

When you pay someone a bribe, you actually buy him out.
He happily obliged.

So I used the SEEPZ phone, with my camera still in the bag, to call up Nike, that I'd be late for lunch. The man hung around, hoping I wasn't alerting any authorities.

Then, as I stepped into the Autorickshaw, I realized, I had no spare change left on me. Ludicrous though it may sound, I went back to my Security chappy and told him that 'coz he had taken all my money, I had no cash left to get home. I dunno why I did that, but I was just in the mood for some fun. The chap actually lent me Rs.20/- as change for my ride home !

People come cheap here.